so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
