That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
