I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
