I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
