hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
