I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
