It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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