You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
