I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Randomize
