Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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