I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
