that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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