Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
