Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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