Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
