Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
