he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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