so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
