We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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