At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
