I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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