I will die if light touches me.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
