he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
