Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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