We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Bring me that man meat
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
