she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I came so hard my ears popped.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
