I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
