They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
