Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
