Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
