I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Randomize
