just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
