When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
