you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize
