my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
