What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
