At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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