And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
