Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
