I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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