If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
