Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The air was thick with penises
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
