Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
