Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
