Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I am available for nakedness
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
