apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
