i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
