Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
