me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
