he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
