Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
