I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
