u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
